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Everything Feels a Bit Strange.

As if my world is this whirling amoeba, ends meeting in places I never expected and in ways that make my mind roll too fast in one direction or another. Is it truth? Is this some elaborate ruse? Am I someone’s Truman Show social experiment?

I have to catch myself.

The last one twisted bits of my brain I never wanted to exist, and now I think in the exact way I was fighting against. Jaded? Maybe. I’m betting it’s a development of social anxiety, but I could be wrong on that count too.

The level of uncertainty that comes with a new human interaction is gnawing at me on first word. I’m incapable of pulling out of my own thoughts of doubt, and putting myself back in my own body.

What happened? I used to leap at it. Make it mine. Give. No. Shits.

My sixteen-year-old self is looking at me in perplexion. And there’s no way that last one will ever know the damage.

I will always jump to tell you that I stopped caring about what people thought of me when I was thirteen.

Maybe just go read some JtHM and time travel to when I was all me.

How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If Applied in Other Instances:

  • *Man walks into a store and finds employee*

  • Man:

    Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!

  • Employee:

    Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?

  • Man:

    I never filled out an application.

  • Employee:

    Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.

  • Man:

    No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!

  • Employee:

    Well, but that doesn't-

  • Man:

    AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!

  • Employee:

    But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.

  • Man:

    OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!

  • Employee:

    Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?

  • Man:

    Well no, but what does that matter?

  • Employee:

    ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.

  • Man:

    Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.

  • Employee:

    That...doesn't make any sense.

  • Man:

    NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.

  • Employee:

  • Man:

  • Employee:

  • Man:

    Fuck you, slut.







this might go over the heads of some of the kids on here. 

did you just

This is the greatest post I have ever seen because it is both a pun and a harsh truth.


I showed this to my 11 year old brother and asked him if he knew what it was. He looked at it for a few seconds and said

"I dunno. a printer?"


Every fucking caption lol

(Source: transparent-like-your-balls)

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